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British Arctic Territory Association of Vexillology In Alert (BATAVIA)

(Flag Hoax)

Last modified: 2019-05-15 by rob raeside
Keywords: british arctic territory |
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All "British Arctic Territory" flags are hoaxes, developed by Clay Moss et al. on April Fools' Days

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British Arctic Territory Association of Vexillology In Alert (BATAVIA)

As Governor General, and by the authority invested in my office, I hereby declare today, 1 April, 2016 the birth date of BATAVIA, The British Arctic Territory Association of Vexillology In Alert. that we have a vexillological association, we need members and a flag. It's free to join, so if you write and let me know that you're in, then you're in.

Now we need a flag. BATAVIA will be fielding suggestions for a BATAVIA flag. you can mail those to me at cmoss60@...

The Office of Vexillology will pick a winner, and we will announce it on 1 April, 2017......unless there is an outcry for it to happen sooner.

Come to think of it, the OV needs a flag as well.

Clay Moss, 1 April 2016

Congratulations to all the citizens of BAT upon the establishment of BATAVIA. I shall now attempt to raise the Territory's standard further by coming up with a possible design for BATAVIA's flag. Will you be considering applying for membership of FIAV ?

I should also like to be considered for membership and as a volunteer of BATAVIA. Did you know that "Batavia" has historical connections to the early European discovery of Terra Australis ?

Ralph Bartlett, 1 April 2016

Happy BAT Day! It has been a slow year in the good olí British Arctic Territory. Not much new to report.

Following the BATís accidental purchase of Australia, 5 years ago today, and the Australian Reindependence Day celebrated coincidentally on January 26/27, this year, Alert High School ended up with not only the original didgeridoo that we ordered in 2014, but we have an additional 4 more didgeridoos, and the school has started the very first arctic didgeridoo band.

No one could have known, but if 5 didgeridoos are played outdoors at the same time, any polar bear within 2 kilometres of the sound will completely freeze in their tracks, no pun intended, sleep while standing, and wonít awake or move again for hours. UNLESS they are tipped over, and then the bears will be jarred awake, get back on their feet, chase their own tails like a dog, and walk off in a very dizzy like fashion depending on how many rounds each bear managed while chasing their tails. For the humans involved, itís a much more interesting past time and adrenaline rush than traditional cow tipping practiced in the US. The sled dogs seem to enjoy watching polar bears act like dogs, albeit briefly. In fact, the sled dogs will occasionally get in on the tipping.

There is now talk of making polar bear tipping a sport, but the rules must first be agreed upon, and a determination as to whether or not polar bear tipping amounts to animal cruelty. Thus far, no polar bears have been injured.

There was one incident however where 2 fellas attempted to tip a polar bear, and the polar bear somehow didnít tip in the direction pushed, but sort of boomeranged, (an outcome not lost on those playing the ďAustralianĒ didgeridoos), back toward the guys who pushed him, and the bear tipped the opposite way, landing on the two tippers. Miraculously, as the two guys laid there, quasi smooshed, and stunned, the polar, did the whole ďchase his tailĒ routine without ever stepping on either fellow. Quite a fortunate outcome, I would say.

BAT Day would not be the tradition it is without the addition of at least 1 new flag. Last year, we reported on VABATís new flag, along with the BAT Mountain Climbing Club. We caught the intern responsible. She escaped and was in Canada, just coincidentally climbing Mount Whistler in order to hide out from her dastardly crime of introducing a BAT flag of an organization that did not exist. Anyway, we were so impressed with her climbing skills, that we made her the the head of the BATMCC. So now, her flag is legitimized.

Meanwhile, several people noticed that we had not mentioned ďBATAVIAĒ last year when talking about BAT vexillological organization flags. Itís too long a story, and not particularly interesting, but the BAT has quietly had 2 vexillological organization the last couple of years. Because the grand total of 5 members between the two clubs could not agree on several bylaws that should unite the two organizations, and they couldnít agree on a flag.

So, a compromise was reached, and VABAT, and BATAVIA, are united now into BATAVIA, the BAT Association of Vexillologists in Alert, because, BATAVIA just sounds cooler.

Along with VABATís flag introduced last year, this new design will also serve BATAVIA. VABATís old flag will fly in the arctic Spring and Summer, with the light blue triangle representing the sky blue day time arctic sky, that never quite goes away. The new flag introduced today, will represent BATAVIA during the arctic Autumn and Winter, with the dark blue triangle representing the very dark blue night time arctic sky, that never quite goes away.

So, Miss intern from last year got her way after all!

There is probably a more modern explanation to this finding. On the "hush hush" side of BAT life, there is a little known treaty between Canada and the BAT, the Canadian Arctic Treaty with the BAT, or CATBAT that permits either side to cross borders as it were in order to pursue certain criminals.

BAT law enforcement officials have been conducting covert operations on Baffin Island, as that's where arctic aardvark poachers hide out. BAT Wild Life Service personnel, (all 2 of them), will occasionally assist law enforcement, as the BATWS has/had a boat, the BATWS Aartie, named for the first arctic aardvark ever discovered.

Anyway, several years ago now, the Aartie, patrolling on Netilling Lake, spotted a group of poachers. The boat proceeded to shore, where the two BATWS gentlemen disembarked and pursued the poachers. Said poachers doubled back toward shore, stole the Aartie, and sped away, never to be seen again.

Embarrassed, the 2 BATWS guys, no worse for wear, radioed their position and were rescued by the BAAF a couple of hours later. Some local Inuit folk later claimed that they saw a "strange boat" sporting an aardvark pennant slam head long into a piece of floating ice in the lake, and go down "like a rock".

I suspect that it is Aartie and what's left of the poachers. A second investigation will verify one way or the other.

The aardvark pennant is a bit of a mystery, as there is no "official" record of there being a BATWS aardvark pennant. However, it could be a pennant fashioned for the Aartie and used as a unit pennant of sorts, which traditionally would not require approval, provided it was tasteful. Having never eaten a pennant myself, I could not say for sure.

Oh yeah....aardvark poaching all but disappeared after the "Aartie disappearance", as the incident is called in the BAT.

Clay Moss, 1 April 2019